Lately I’ve been thinking hard and long about my “career”. I have a degree in education (secondary Social Studies to be exact) and spent 2 years teaching after I graduated college. Then, due to life happenings, I moved home and took whatever job I could find, which happened to be working at a grain elevator. I was the secretary and quite liked it actually. I enjoyed my farmers and the interactions with them. I enjoyed the busy seasons, but hated the dead seasons (read: end of January – early March). I love the things I learned about the agricultural world and ultimately this job brought me to my now husband, so I’d say it was a great experience. The job didn’t challenge me though. There was no where for me to grow (without having to move an hour away) and therefore, I started to get bored. I dipped my toes back into working with kids, but quickly learned that I really don’t have the patience for teaching or working with them (other than at home, with my own).
Next, I ventured into the retail sales world. I began as a sales consultant, worked my way up to a store manager and am now overseeing the entire company. I love my job…most of the time. I enjoy the lessons and challenges…usually. However…I have begun to wonder if this is where I am supposed to be and the field I’m supposed to be in long term. The problem is…I don’t know where I’m supposed to be. Many people say they feel a passion for what they’ve chosen as a career. I can’t say that.
Yes, I have passion for my job and one of the things I’ve learned about myself is that I have passion for whatever I’m doing! It doesn’t matter whether it’s helping to raise two boys, my marriage, being an aunt, running, my side of job of selling nail wraps, or my full-time job. I take it on with passion and I dedicate myself to it. That doesn’t mean however, that I feel passionate about it or that I feel “called” to do this job. I find this frustrating. I want something to stand out at me, I want something to call my name. I want something to say, “Hey you, yeah…this is what you’re supposed to do with your life”. I worry! I worry that future employers will look at my resume and say, “she can’t pick a field, we don’t want her”. I probably fear this the most because I believe that I am a good employee. I am loyal, dedicated (almost to a fault), and (like I said before), passionate about my job and willing to give it my all. I just can’t find that ONE thing that I’m supposed to do for the rest of my life…will I ever?