I folded another “little” shirt the other night and put it on the stack of shirts to sell or giveaway! As I did a tear rolled down my cheek! M has been growing at a rapid pace lately! Too fast for my liking!! Every weekend when I do laundry, I’m folding at least one shirt that has gotten too small or one pair of pants that look more like capris, or a pair of shorts that are on their way to looking like volleyball shorts…these go into a pile to either giveaway or sell (depending on how long they’ve been around and what kind of conditions they’ve been introduced to during their life in our home)!!
I have so many mixed flavors about the boys growing up! First, it’s happening WAY too fast! Granted, the boys and I first started spending time together about the time that M turned 6, so it’s only been about 5 years! I say only 5 years and yet in my next thought I think “it’s already been 5 years?” How can I be so schitzophrenic about this?? These boys are growing at what seems like lthe speed of light R has been 6ft. or taller for about 9 months now and still has a little over a month before he turns 15! M has probably grown 4 inches since Christmas! How does this happen?
The other emotion I feel about the boys growing up is pride! I’m so proud of the young men that they are becoming! They truly are becoming respectful, polite, smart young men! Its such a bittersweet feeling becasue I know what great men they are going to make and yet, it means they are growing and getting closer to being out on their own. I mean R graduates in 4 years?? Did I pass out for a few years?!?
As I stand in my bathroom and look at the tub of toys that hasn’t been played with in several weeks, my heart hurts. It longs for the days when M is asking me to read books to him while he plays in the tub or him asking T for a piggy back ride. I came in mid-childhood and I would love to to relive the last 5 years again! But, I know that I can’t and know that the future is going to bring amazing experiences and futures for these boys.
I feel honored and blessed to be watching these boys grow up and to be helping in that process! I just wish that time would slow down! I never really grasped what my parents meant when they said that the time flies, but I guess experiencing that and understanding it is all part of Learning As I Go!