Can I tell you a secret? I hate Mother’s Day! I love honoring my mom, which I feel that I do throughout the year and of course do my best to make her feel extra special on Mother’s Day, but being a step-mom on Mother’s Day is hard! This is one of those real times that choosing the path I have is very difficult and the feelings are very raw!
R & M have a mom who is very present in their life and she is a good one! I will NEVER try to take that away from her! However, I’d by lying if I didn’t say that it hurts to not be recognized on Mother’s Day for the things that I do to help support and better the boys’ lives as well as love them unconditionally. I don’t blame anyone for this, I’m not angry with them, T, or anyone else. It just sucks and there is no good solution. We try very hard to be very respectful of the boys’ mom and so we don’t make a big deal out of this type of thing (until now…whoops!) In fact, while I was driving R to his moms this morning, I said to him, “you know Sunday is Mother’s Day…you need to make sure to make your mom a card or something!” I encourage their relationship and focus on that she is their mother! However, I will admit that every once in a while, it would be nice if someone recognized me for what I do for the boys.
Did you know that there is a step-moms day? Yeah, I didn’t either until I became one, but really…who knows that it is celebrated the Sunday after Mother’s Day and who has ever honored their step-mom on that day? Yeah, me either…although I do try each year to thank my awesome step-mom for everything she has done (on Mother’s Day). Does my mom take offense to it? I’m going to guess and say “no”. My mom recognizes what a neat lady my step-mom is and how she loves me and my brother and our children as her own, as well.
No one will ever replace or be my mom…other than the woman who gave birth to me and I know this is true of the boys as well. And, I’m ok with that because I’ve chosen this situation. But, what I’m going to say is that if you know a step-mom (or even a step-dad), and they are close to you…please wish them a happy Mother’s Day or Father’s Day. Let them know that you see what they are doing for their step-children. Choosing to love someone else’s children is a very cognizant choice that we step-parents make and there are parts of this situation that are harder and more complicated than traditional children and families. So, Trust me… a “Happy Mother’s Day” would go a long way!